a haiku about kingdom hearts:
oh my fucking shit
heal me god fucking dammit
for fuck’s sake donald
"The sky is awake! So I’m awake! So let’s go get Olaf and dump some snow on that visiting dignitary!”
Originally on DeviantArt!
I’m laughing way harder than I should
why have i not seen this thing before
“We’re so bad at sex and then we wonder why women aren’t like, really aggressive about sex. We think it’s cause they don’t have as much desire as we do. That’s how stupid men are, that we think ‘they’re just weird, women are like fucked up in the head cause they don’t wanna just fuck all the time. If I was a women, I’d just fuck everybody. Why don’t they wanna fuck all the time? I do’. Of course you do, cause when you fuck, you get to fuck a woman! When she fucks, she has to fuck a guy! Wildly different experiences. For a man, 100% of the time, it’s the greatest thing that ever happened in his entire life. For a woman, about 40% of the time, when she’s being fucked by a guy, she’s thinking ‘I’ll get over this in a week. It’s not the worst thing. I’m not gonna cry this time’
“Another thing that proves how bad men are at sex is that after sex, you’re looking at two very different people. The man just wants to lay there, be cool and the woman wants to cuddle…’Why is she so NEEDY?’ She’s not needy you idiot, she’s horny, because you did nothing for her. YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. HER PUSSY IS ON FIRE BECAUSE IT’S GONE UNFUCKED COMPLETELY. Of course you’re fine, you climbed on and went “KFHGSKG” and rolled off. And she’s on you because she’s like ‘WH-at SOMETHING ELSE HAS TO HAPPEN, THIS IS BULLSHIT!!” If you fuck a woman well, she will LEAVE YOU ALONE. ‘Thanks a lot buddy, zzzzz’”
Oh, Louis CK, advocate for the female orgasm. (via wantonmasochist)
Nothing has ever been more accurate.
stole a pencil today
Was buying it along with some ice cream and stuff after dinner at the little corner store we having in our dorm. I like put it behind my ear to grab more stuff.
Now I have a part of my head shaved. I put it behind that ear and I got up to the clerk she just smiles at me gives me my total and I walk out not noticing that I just stole it XD
oh what a anti-climatic life I lead. I’ve almost stole a lot of shit from that shop too they aren’t too attentive
like one time I walked out with a coke because my friend was calling me. after I got outside I realized and went back in to pay
If you don’t like puns or sarcasm then we’ll probably never get along ever.
can’t wait to be home so I can has scanner back
*jaime lannister voice* ned stark more like nerd stark haha *high fives cersei and ollies out*